Here, let me help you with that then!YEAH RIGHT!
When you call my business line, I assume you're looking for someone or something. It's my job to assist you with your quest so it behooves you to treat me with some amount of respect and kindness. I'm not talking about curtsying the Queen here, I'm just talking simple courtesy, like that you would bestow upon a friend or colleague.
So, with that said, it's AMAZING the number of calls I receive where you, the caller, decide to become combative.
It really shouldn't have to come to that, but once the battle lines are drawn, I hope you are prepared to engage in a mêlée you WILL NOT WIN.
You see, I am the gatekeeper, and as such, it's my duty to weed out the bottom-feeders like you headhunters and telemarketers.
You DARE attempt to steal our talent? I think NOT, don't even bother trying because I will screen your ass SIX ways to SUNDAY! Telling me it's a "personal" call when I ask you who you are is the BIGGEST red flag.
Next are you cubicle monkeys that try to railroad me into submission by talking fast and/or talking "over" me. That just irritates the piss out of me and you can be guaranteed that at that point, all your hopes of getting through, have VANISHED.
I realize it's tantalizing for you at this point, to proceed to antagonize me with stupidity like, "who left YOU in charge" or my personal favorite, "you're just the receptionist." If you wish me to verbally scold you before I hang up on your pathetic ass, this would be the route to go.
Oh, and I also realize, that once I've hung up on you, you WILL be tempted to call back for vengeance, you can't help yourself. You'll demand to "speak with my supervisor/manager/Supreme Being" about my rude behavior and I will gladly oblige because the receptionist reports to EVERYONE. I have no qualms whatsoever about passing you through, they will likely tear you a new one harsher than I because now you’re wasting both my time and THEIRS.
Thank you for calling and have a nice day!
xxThe Gatekeeper
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